Life is funny.
A year ago, I could have weighed 40lbs less than I do now and felt miserable. I would have hated how I looked, how I felt...heck, I think I would have just hated myself!
Yet, here I sit now, the biggest I've ever been (and yes, that means I weigh more now than I did when I was 9 months pregnant) and I do not hate myself. I do not hate my body. In fact, I am rather happy with myself. Because the truth is, I needed a break. I needed a break from stressing over calories and fat, how many calories I was burning at the gym, how soon I could fit into my old clothes...the list goes on and on. I was just DONE. Surely you all can understand that.
Of course, I put on weight really easily and really quickly. Which is why I quickly go to be the size that I currently am. But you know what? My body still works. I still wear non-plus-sized clothes. I still get told that I am beautiful, or that I have a nice smile. And I actually feel MORE confident than I did before, because I am happy with myself. I like myself.
Does that mean that I am done trying to lose weight? No. Not at all. I know that I am not as healthy as I could be, and I know that I could feel even more confident at a lower weight. I'm just not willing to beat myself up over it, or obsess over it like I did before.
As of today, I am starting a new weight loss plan. It is nothing special - I will watch my portions, but not count points or calories. I will exercise 3 or more times per week, but I will focus on what exercises I WANT to be doing, not what I think I should be doing. I want to make happiness a priority in all areas of life, and my physical body should be no different.
I am going to try this for a month and see how it goes. If the weight isn't coming off, or if I still find myself binge eating, then I will re-evaluate. But for now, this feels right for me.
And here's something interesting: I read somewhere that the age where women tend to feel the most confident, sexy, and happy is 31. Seems fitting, as that is my exact age...
Monday, August 31, 2015
Monday, July 20, 2015
Under the Sea
I just noticed something...did I really not end up posting any photos from my daughter' party in May? I was so proud of how I pulled it off! Oh well...better late than never. So here they are:
The invitation:
Hairbands I made for the Goody Bags...Aaralyn got a special one with a sea turtle on it (the other girls' had sand dollars)
Decorations:
Bubble Station, ready to go (there was also a craft centre)
Snacks!
The Cake! I frugaled things and ordered just the fondant characters from a local baker, but made and iced the cake myself!
Overall it was a really fun day!
The invitation:
Hairbands I made for the Goody Bags...Aaralyn got a special one with a sea turtle on it (the other girls' had sand dollars)
Decorations:
Bubble Station, ready to go (there was also a craft centre)
Snacks!
The Cake! I frugaled things and ordered just the fondant characters from a local baker, but made and iced the cake myself!
Overall it was a really fun day!
Monday, July 6, 2015
Sixty Pounds to Lose
(Ulgh, that makes me sweat just saying it)
Yup, you've read that correctly. As of today, I need to lose 60lbs to get to my goal weight.
This is the largest weight loss goal I have ever faced, pregnancy excluded.
Before, I told myself that I would be angry with myself if I didn't get my eating back on track and gained all of my weight back. And it turns out, I was right. Boy was I ever right!
Look, I am generally happy with how my body FEELS. That's because I've stayed pretty consistent with my exercise, despite not watching what was going in my mouth. I can still lift and squat the same amounts as before. The only time I really notice my weight gain during exercise is when I'm running. Running is hard right now. But, I am keeping at it, and steadily making small progress. So yes, I feel okay. But when I see pictures of myself - WOW. I am NOT happy. I don't even recognize the person in them! So, something must change.
Here I go...
Yup, you've read that correctly. As of today, I need to lose 60lbs to get to my goal weight.
This is the largest weight loss goal I have ever faced, pregnancy excluded.
Before, I told myself that I would be angry with myself if I didn't get my eating back on track and gained all of my weight back. And it turns out, I was right. Boy was I ever right!
Look, I am generally happy with how my body FEELS. That's because I've stayed pretty consistent with my exercise, despite not watching what was going in my mouth. I can still lift and squat the same amounts as before. The only time I really notice my weight gain during exercise is when I'm running. Running is hard right now. But, I am keeping at it, and steadily making small progress. So yes, I feel okay. But when I see pictures of myself - WOW. I am NOT happy. I don't even recognize the person in them! So, something must change.
Here I go...
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
How to Measure Success
What's on my mind right now? Measuring Success
There are many different ways that people use to measure success in regards to weight loss and maintenance. The most common, hands down, is the dreaded SCALE. How much weight has been lost? Many also take measurements, which in my opinion is a fantastic option. Some look at body fat percentage, which is a great idea, but difficult to do accurately. Taking progress photos is another great choice. Others track their BMI (Body Mass Index) to see changes there - when the classification finally goes from obese to overweight and then to "healthy". Ahhh...healthy...
But let's hold the phone for a minute. I need to get this off my chest. I HATE the Body Mass Index. All it does is compare your weight to your height, and voila - it thinks it can decide whether you are healthy or not. Well, let me tell you...Mr BMI is not as smart as he thinks. He can't tell how much of your weight is from muscle or fat. He can't tell if you are healthy enough to run a marathon. He can't tell the difference between a 300 pound body builder and a 300 pound couch potato (Note: I am NOT judging couch potatos). I am personally offended by the BMI right now, in fact. Look, I get that I am overweight. But it's telling me that I am obese - OBESE - and yet I don't even wear plus sized clothes. That boggles my mind. Sure, maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better, but still...doesn't that seem strange to you?
Where was I going with this? Oh, I forget. I think my point was that there are many ways to measure success when you are trying to slim down, and you have to try to figure out which way works for you. Or something. :)
There are many different ways that people use to measure success in regards to weight loss and maintenance. The most common, hands down, is the dreaded SCALE. How much weight has been lost? Many also take measurements, which in my opinion is a fantastic option. Some look at body fat percentage, which is a great idea, but difficult to do accurately. Taking progress photos is another great choice. Others track their BMI (Body Mass Index) to see changes there - when the classification finally goes from obese to overweight and then to "healthy". Ahhh...healthy...
But let's hold the phone for a minute. I need to get this off my chest. I HATE the Body Mass Index. All it does is compare your weight to your height, and voila - it thinks it can decide whether you are healthy or not. Well, let me tell you...Mr BMI is not as smart as he thinks. He can't tell how much of your weight is from muscle or fat. He can't tell if you are healthy enough to run a marathon. He can't tell the difference between a 300 pound body builder and a 300 pound couch potato (Note: I am NOT judging couch potatos). I am personally offended by the BMI right now, in fact. Look, I get that I am overweight. But it's telling me that I am obese - OBESE - and yet I don't even wear plus sized clothes. That boggles my mind. Sure, maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better, but still...doesn't that seem strange to you?
Where was I going with this? Oh, I forget. I think my point was that there are many ways to measure success when you are trying to slim down, and you have to try to figure out which way works for you. Or something. :)
Monday, June 22, 2015
Monday, May 18, 2015
Hmmm
Has it really been almost a month since my last post?
It just seems like I haven't had a lot to say for awhile. I'm still working out, still chugging away, but my weigh isn't moving. I know it's my fault...too many times making bad choices. I guess I should be happy that I'm not gaining? I got a little self esteem boost when I went shopping the other day. I thought for sure I'd have to buy plus sizes, and I didn't - however I'm mostly in the largest size that regular stores carry. So, that's been a bit of a wake up call for me.
I've been eating less fast food, and even though I haven't lost much weight, I feel like I look less bloated. That's always a plus.
Anyway...that's my small update. Hope you are all doing well!
It just seems like I haven't had a lot to say for awhile. I'm still working out, still chugging away, but my weigh isn't moving. I know it's my fault...too many times making bad choices. I guess I should be happy that I'm not gaining? I got a little self esteem boost when I went shopping the other day. I thought for sure I'd have to buy plus sizes, and I didn't - however I'm mostly in the largest size that regular stores carry. So, that's been a bit of a wake up call for me.
I've been eating less fast food, and even though I haven't lost much weight, I feel like I look less bloated. That's always a plus.
Anyway...that's my small update. Hope you are all doing well!
Monday, April 20, 2015
These are My Confessions
Confession: I officially weigh more than I ever have before, excluding pregnancy. As you can imagine, this is doing a number on my self esteem.
Why do I eat so much?
- I eat when I'm bored
- I eat when I feel sad and depressed
- I eat when I feel like celebrating
- I binge eat but don't know why
- When I have a bad meal at the start of the day, I say "screw it" and eat more and more
- I eat when I'm craving something
- I eat when other people are eating around me
I have come to the realization that I'm probably addicted to food, and could really use some suggestions of resources, if anyone has any.
In the meantime...I'll just keep floundering...and trying to improve...
Why do I eat so much?
- I eat when I'm bored
- I eat when I feel sad and depressed
- I eat when I feel like celebrating
- I binge eat but don't know why
- When I have a bad meal at the start of the day, I say "screw it" and eat more and more
- I eat when I'm craving something
- I eat when other people are eating around me
I have come to the realization that I'm probably addicted to food, and could really use some suggestions of resources, if anyone has any.
In the meantime...I'll just keep floundering...and trying to improve...
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