Monday Monday, make it a Fun-day

Guess what?

1. I spent way too much time eating my feelings last week, and I am NOT happy about the numbers appearing on the scale today. Time to reign it in! Are you all surprised to hear me say that...again?

2. I am loving evening family walks...the weather is gorgeous, and the leaves are just starting to change colours. Perfect.

3. I still really needs to win the lottery.

4. I really really want to go to Disney World again. (the last time was only a year ago!)

5. I MIGHT be more obsessed with My Little Pony than my daughter is. Oh well.

In other news, I'm just finishing up a post that features advice from fellow bloggers (some of whom you may know!) so please stay tuned for that this week!

I'm Still Here!!!

I promise I'm still here.

I'm just making a bad habit out of wallowing in my own self-destructing thoughts.

I'll work on it.

I promise.

Losing the Battle...

So, I have a cold. I guess it's that time of year again...the weather is changing back and forth, mucking with our immune systems, and the kids, back in school, are welcoming gangs of germs back into our homes every day. Although I have no energy, I think I should just be thankful that it's just a cold and nothing more!

So, clearly this minor illness is not the reason that I bawled my face off today after work.

I realized something today, something that's been nagging at the back of my mind for months now: I can't handle being a working mom . Not with everything else I have to deal with...not with how much I have to fight every morning just to get out of bed on a GOOD day. On a good day, I'm exhausted and barely hanging on. And yet, I can't afford to NOT be a working mom. I'm stuck. And I don't know what to do. I know this problem isn't unique to me...and I'm just in awe of those who have learned to cope.

When I wrote my previous post about depression, I was experiencing a lot of emotions. One of them was anger - I was fed up. Fed up with life, fed up with people who don't try to understand, fed up with the lack of resources out there to help people who are suffering...just angry. There was fight left in me. Things are different now.

Now? I have no fight left. I feel like I'm giving up, but can't do anything to stop it. Some days it feels like I'm losing the battle...other days it feels like I've already lost. I'm doing my best to hang in there for my kids, but I just don't know how to do this anymore. How do you convince yourself it's worth getting up when the majority of your time awake is spent in misery? I'm struggling to find the answer to that...

Fat-Free Frigging Around

I’m tirrrrreeedddd. Thank goodness it’s Friday…although I have to work tomorrow…andno one likes working Saturdays, am I right?

So, I KNOW I said that I was going to be recording my weight every Friday to keep myself accountable, BUT…not today. Hear me out. I’m having some “issues” (let’s just go with that to prevent going into TMI territory…heh) and it’s causing me to bloat like a Labour Day Parade balloon. As a result, I am up almost two pounds from what I was when I peeked two days ago. No point in getting stressed about that, right? RIGHT?!??! (just agree with me) If this “issue” is gone by Sunday, I might recheck things then 

Other than that, I’ve been working like a madwoman this week, but NOT working OUT like a madwoman. Epic fail pour moi.

Hopefully I will have more to report to you next week, and more posts. I need to ditch my slacker ways!

Happy Monday!

I got nothing!

I'm working on a (hopefully) interesting post for later on, but until then...have a good start to the week!

Fat-Free Friday

Let's get right to it: I lost another 1.2 pounds this week, despite some not-so-perfect eating choices, putting me at 160lbs exactly. Oh 150's, I am knocking on your door!

Other than that...I got nothing. I really wish that I had more of an update for today, but my week has been pretty dull. I worked, worked out, playing with my kiddos and watched TV. Have any of you ever watched, "Who Do You Think You Are", where they look up the ancestry of different celebrities? It's quite interesting. I was watching a few old episodes and MAN - Lisa Kudrow's was SO depressing! I can't even imagine going through what her family experienced. It was very sad, but I'm glad I watched it. Anyway...if you have any interest in history, it's a pretty cool show to watch. That and the Little Couple.

The other little thing I want to mention is about running. I've decided that when I run outside (I usually run 5k) I won't worry too much about my speed. As I've said, I'm not a fast runner. But, when I run on the treadmill (DREADmill) at the gym, the I will work on a faster pace. My mini-goal is to be able to run at 6.1 for at least 10 minutes straight. I don't exactly know what I picked that, but nonetheless, I'm sticking with it! I started at two minutes, and each time I go to the gym I add 30 seconds of running time at that speed. So, I've made it to 3 1/2 minutes without dying, and next time I'll aim for 4 minutes. I like having something to work at, and if it makes me a slightly faster runner in the end, then great. If not...at least I've burned some extra calories, right?

I hope everyone has a good weekend. Stay safe!

Trying and Failing

Sometimes, in life, we have to accept that there are certain things we can't change. There are things that we might want to be, or want to do, but no matter how hard we try, we just don't succeed. And that's okay. Nobody is perfect, and nobody can do every single thing that they want to do. We're not superhumans, after all.

And guess what? That applies to all areas of life: exercise, parenting, work-life balance.... Often we set challenges for ourselves, and we may hit many (or even most) of them, but inevitably we run into one particular challenge that seems impossible to overcome. The tricky part is knowing when it's best to keep trying, and when it's time to step back and, "I can't do this. I'm done. And that's okay."

For me, recently, it's been about running. LAME, I know. I don't have anything deeper right now, okay? (Actually, that's a lie. There are so many areas of my life that I could apply this to, but I'm choosing to talk to you about running today, because that's what's on my mind). I have come to the conclusion that I am never going to be a fast runner. No matter how hard I try, my speed just isn't increasing. And I think I'm starting to accept that. Sure, I still have a goal to run 5k in under 30 minutes, but if I can manage to do that even ONCE I'll be happy. And if I can't do it at all, I won't die. I've realized that I am much more of a distance runner - I can push myself to run longer and farther, but not faster. And instead of being disappointed about not being able to do it all, I'm choosing to be happy about the progress that I do make.

Maybe you can't run fast, like me. Maybe you can't run at all. Maybe you can't do push ups, or a chin up, or squats with a 50-lbs weight. Maybe you can't do DIY-projects while maintaining a half-crazy household. Maybe you skip the homemade meal a few times a week. Maybe you've tried and tried and tried, but still aren't succeeding in whatever you hope to achieve. That doesn't make you a failure. Trying isn't failing. Changing goals, creating new ones, and abandoning other are not failures - as long as you keep going.

Ten (Random) Things on Tuesday...

1. Today it is HOT – after a few days of feeling like autumn is fast approaching, we’re back to summer weather. Bring out the shorts and tanks!

2. Despite what I said in my previous post, I am still trying to increase my running speed. I’ll just never learn!

3. My abs hurt. I guess adding in several different exercises is doing something.

4. I am having horrible sugar cravings this week. I tried to distract myself by watching a movie, but my daughter wanted to see “Wreck It Ralph” and it features a game called “Sugar Rush"...so of course I ended up face-first in a tub of chocolate Philadelphia cream cheese.

5. I want to win the lottery. (I don’t actually buy tickets, so my plan is a guaranteed failure.)

6. I wish I hadn't stayed up until 2am last night playing Spider Solitaire. Yes, it took me THAT long to win. I'm, um...dedicated?

7. I'm obsessed with Bill and Jenn from "The Little Couple". I think they are the probably the most normal family on TV. And their son is cute as heck!

8. I wonder if my daughter will ever tell me anything about her day at kindergarten.

9. I wonder if my son will ever stop jumping off of the furniture.

10. I miss my husband. He's gone for a month (with possibly the occasional visit) doing a course, and it's no fun at all. Except on nights when "The Little Couple" is on. (See #7). Which is tonight!

Have a great day, everyone!

One Day Late...

I wrote this post yesterday...but forgot to ACTUALLY post it! Whoopsy-daisy! Better late than never, though, right? Here it is:

Happy Fat-Free Friday!!! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and there is just a hint of autumn in the air. Today is a good day!

If I were to recap the last week in terms of my weight loss, I’d say that I did pretty well. I hit most of my goals for the week, although fitting in three servings of vegetables a day has been a challenge. Fruit is so much yummier! But I did manage to eat better, work out at least 3 times, PLUS I did some arm and ab exercises every night before bed. So overall I feel that my week was satisfactory…and I lost 1.2 pounds to boot! Happy enough about that, even though I was *hoping* for more!

If I lost 1.2 every week, I’d be around 155 at the end of my six week challenge. It’s not quite where I want to be, but I would be okay with that. I am SO looking forward to even just being out of the 160’s!!!

I have nothing else exciting to write about, because I'm JUST that boring, so...have a great weekend!

Aaralyn's First Day of School

Yesterday was my daughter's first day of kindergarten. Please feel free to insert any cliché along the lines of "Oh my gosh, they grow up so FAST!" here. It's all true.

I'm not sure where it works elsewhere, but here where I live, kids have two years of kindergarten being entering grade one. Attending kindergarten is optional, but it's part of the public school system, so most people choose to enrol their children. Starting next year, every kindergarten class in my province will run for the full-day. Right now, my daughter is only going in the afternoons, and I think it's going to work out very well for her. Also, the classes mix both the junior and senior kindergarten students, which means that Aaralyn gets to be in the same class as the boy next door. Fun!

BUT...can we get back to her first day...and the TOTAL REJECTION I experienced?

My child did not cry on her first day of school. This is good. My child did not freak out and refuse to listen when the teacher asked them to come inside. This is also good. But my child also DID NOT CARE ABOUT HUGGING HER MOTHER GOODBYE went she went in for her first day. What the heck?!?!? One child had to be physically extracted from his entwinement around his mother's waist, but MY child doesn't even care that I'm leaving. I'm so offended. *pout*

Nah, it's all good. And today, we're going to try the girls (my niece is attending the school as well) on the bus. Only kindergarten students in my neighbourhood qualify for the bus, so I guess we should take advantage of it while we can!!!

Still...I'm just not ready for my little girl to grow up...

In other news, I peeked at the scale today, and it looks like I'm already down a pound. This is great, but I know that my official weigh in on Friday might not be, as I'll probably be PMSing badly (re: water retention central) by then. This is why I gave myself permission to peek today :)

Have a great week, everyone!

P.S. The kindergarten teacher has a blog for the classroom. How freaking COOL is that?

"Fall Into Fall" Challenge

Hellooooo ladies! (Still not sure if I have any “gents” around here yet…) Hope you’re all having a great start to your week.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my Summer Slimdown Challenge was a bust. I started the 6-week challenge at 162 lbs, and I finished it at 162.4 lbs. LAME! Not impressive, I know, but I’m telling you all anyway because I like to keep myself honest. Besides, let’s be real: you all knew I was blowing it big time! No sense in hiding these things!

The GOOD news is that during the past week, I’ve really gotten my eating (mostly) back on track, and I feel like I’m in a much better mindset. So I am excited to bring you all my “Fall Into Fall” challenge! I make these cheesily-named challenges for myself for motivation, and to help me achieve my goals. And corny or not, you are welcome to join me!

I’m challenging myself for the six weeks between September 1st and Canadian Thanksgiving. I like my challenges to be no longer than six weeks, because any longer and I lose interest. Hey, what can I say – I’m human! And right now, the six-week timing works out perfectly because my family is taking a mini-vacay over the Thanksgiving weekend – not to anywhere fancy, but nonetheless it’s extra motivation, right? And what’s even MORE of a motivation is that I tried on my “go-to” jeans - you know, the jeans that you just LOVE to wear, not matter how old or ugly they get, because they make you feel awesome – and it wasn’t a good story. They looked like this:



MUFFIN TOP CENTRAL!!! Aren’t I a hottie?

Here are my goals, and my plan for how to achieve them:

Goals:
-Lose 10 pounds (the amount I gained back in just one summer.) This will bring me back into my goal range of 148-153. I am, however, thinking about changing that range to 150-155 which might be more realistic. We'll see.
-Lose inches, and get more definition back in my arms and “abs”
-Fit back into my “go-to” jeans (WITHOUT the muffin top)
-Get back into the “lifestyle change” mindset – this is NOT a diet!
-Have more energy once again!

How I’ll do it:
-Exercise 3-5 times per week
-Cleaner eating, staying within my daily Points value
-Lots of water
-CUT OUT before-bed snacking (I can’t even tell you how much peanut butter I’ve shoved into my pie-hole between the hours of 12am and 1am)
-MORE vegetables...aiming for 3 servings at least per day
-LESS EATING OUT (my biggest problem this summer)
-I’ll go back to posting my “Fat-Free Friday” posts to track my progress on this blog

Feel free to post your own goals in the comments section – let’s help keep each other accountable!

And, finally, here are my starting inches for the areas I’m most concerned about:

Arm: 12.5
Waist: 29.75
Hips: 43

Come on, everyone…let’s do this!